Elements - A songfic
by DynnaChae
Summary: Propheria's Lover was my inspiration, and "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads is the song. Haruka is the narrator. If I say anymore I'll give the entire story away.


Howdy! I don't own Sailormoon, Haruka, Michiru, The Talking Heads, Porpheria's Lover (geeze I don't even remember the spelling), or the song "Once in a Lifetime". I own a nifty little Babu planner. That's about it! So try not to sue me, ne?  
~~~  
Shhhh. Can you hear it? The radio is playing the song of my life. No, it's playing the song of my wrongdoing...  
  
~*Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.*~  
  
I held her limp body in my arms as I contemplated just what I did. It didn't register for a bit. I just kept breathing lightly hoping to hear her heart beat again. That familiar beating that lulled me to sleep. But it wasn't there.   
  
~*And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack  
And you may find yourself in another part of the world  
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile  
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife  
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?*~  
  
Placing my lost sea goddess on the bed, I decided to get away. Perhaps drown my grief in a tall glass of whatever was potent enough to take my mind away from this hell vision of my wife, laying dead on my bed. I mean... I did kill her. So why does it hurt? Why do my eyes sting when I look at her?  
  
You'd probably like an explanation for my deed. My insanity. I'll tell you. I did it... because I loved her too much to lose her. Lose her magnificence. Her smooth skin. The way she flipped her hair behind her as she walked by me to get my attention.   
  
~*Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.*~  
  
I'll tell you how it happened. The night was calm. I sat in the darkness gazing out the window at the full moon. She quietly came in like she usually did. This time she didn't even bother to remove her coat. She glided across the bedroom floor and wrapped her arms around my shoulders from the back. I took in her sweet scent as she lowered her head onto my shoulder and gazed out at the moon with me.   
  
"I love you Haruka." was all she said.  
  
I narrowed my eyes and moved my hands up to hers. I gently parted her hands and turned around to meet her loving gaze. She had recently taken a shower. She must've just come from swim practice. I stood up off the bed and took in her perfect figure. Head to toe she was perfect. All mine. It seemed like everything about her was perfect in the moment. Not a hair misplaced. Her clothes fit perfectly. Her breathing pattern was perfect. I stood back for a moment. The sensation coming to me was more of a feeling of realization that I could lose this perfect vision of my goddess. Everything would come crashing down. This might not be real.  
  
~*And you may ask yourself,  
How do I work this?  
And you may ask yourself  
Where is that large automobile?  
And you may tell yourself  
This is not my beautiful house!  
And you may tell yourself  
This is not my beautiful wife!*~  
  
It wasn't rage at all. It was love I tell you. Love that made me reach out and run my fingers up her arms. Love that told me to slowly trace my fingers across her shoulder blades. Love that compelled me to wrap my fingers around her throat and tighten my grip. Love... love of perfection. Love of my goddess. Fear of losing that vision. I didn't want to lose my delicate sea nymph.   
  
~*Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.*~  
  
I know... I shouldn't have done it. The pain didn't register then. But it has now. Perfection can no longer be perfect once it's dead. The bar is behind me now as I drive further away from what I've done. I want to be where she is. I know she'll forgive me if I can just say that I'm sorry.   
  
I parked my car somewhere. I don't know and I really don't care right now. Staggering to the dock I look over at the water and the first real tears well up in my eyes. I turn to gaze the moon and curse her for shining bright. No one shines brighter than my beloved goddess. My sea seraphim that can no longer shine. Her music remains only in my head.   
  
~*Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...   
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...   
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was... *~  
  
I swayed slowly, starting to hum her song in my head. She would hum this one, particular song... and though I was unfamiliar of the lyrics I would often hum to myself with her. It gave me a sense of peace. I needed peace right now. I left the sea once... in hopes of sparing perfection. And my addiction has brought me crawling back  
One last gaze at the world in which I live in. It never was a good place. But it wasn't bad either. But it was because she was there to make it better. And if she's gone I can't cope. I sound so selfish throughout this whole tale. I'm such the villain. But I need to be with her and neither you nor them can stop me. I will have her back in my arms.  
  
~*Water dissolving...and water removing   
There is water at the bottom of the ocean   
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean   
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean! *~   
  
As the waves rock my body I envision her soft touch on my skin. I close my eyes and smile as I picture her leaving her kisses along my neck. She would lace her fingers in mine and gaze into my eyes for what seemed like hours. I sought her comfort if I lost a race. I could never be depressed... never be upset because I lost for long. She would come home and never say a word. She would just wrap her arms around me and sit in silence while I sulked. She was my only true weakness.  
  
~*Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down   
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground   
Into the blue again/in the silent water   
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.   
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down   
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground   
Into the blue again/after the money's gone   
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground. *~  
  
My clothes grow heavier now. And though she's on my mind I think of what the others might think. They'll think it was an accident. Or that some random killer came in and hurt her. They'll never think to accuse me. Why would they? I never had a reason to... never had a reason to. I just did. With one thought...preservation. But it couldn't have been that. My gods! It was insanity that made me kill my lover! It was sheer lunacy that drove me to murderous degrees! It was no act of love! What did I do!?   
  
~*And you may ask yourself   
What is that beautiful house?   
And you may ask yourself   
Where does that highway go?   
And you may ask yourself   
Am I right?...Am I wrong?   
And you may tell yourself   
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?*~  
  
I'm underwater now. Struggling to breathe. Air goddess no more. Betrayed by my own element. Slowly dying by hers. It's what I deserved, really. But I'll be with her once more. And I'll fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness as she weeps. But she'll hate me. I know that now. She'll never forgive me for what I've done. I was so foolish to believe that I could win back her trust. I killed her. I killed our trust. Vile slayer am I. Destroy the innocent. Perfection no more. Air and sea, once companions, now lost and disgraced by my terrible actions. Gods, forgive me...   
  
~* Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down   
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground   
Into the blue again/in the silent water   
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.   
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down   
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground   
Into the blue again/after the money's gone   
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.*~  
  
With my last bit of oxygen, my last conscious moment... I reach out into the midnight blue oblivion. Life all around me and I now represent death and destruction. The senshi of chaos I am... I deserved this. And my last breath was remorseful.  
  
Sinking lower now. Hand still reached out to grasp the hand of that which she had taken life from. Fingers curled slightly longing to link with those of which she loved. Those of which gave her pleasure unspoken, those of which played music that rivaled the songs of angels. Extended hand, meet the other side now. You are dead too. In your own oblivion. Encased in regret. Wrapped in a blanket of misery. A hand of hope reaches out for yours. And her fingers press against yours. And they drift closer... closer... closer. And they come together. They slowly bend. They slowly link. Lock. Fingers locked together. Sky and Sea unite once more.   
  
~* Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...   
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...   
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...*~  
  
  
~~End~~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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